C&B or: Work Ethic

Week 3, Day 1
Red Room
Krunch suggested that since that is our last week of this series of the P90X workout we actually try to talk specifically about what we did during the workout and how it helped or hurt us. (Fine! As you'll see from the pictures later in this entry Katie is clearly the more serious one in this enterprise).
Chest and Back (C&B, Cat and B*&ch, as in, geez! why do you have to be such a "C"? see? - my playmate ::clap clap:: come out and play with me ::clap clap:: and bring your dollies 3 ::clap clap:: ... - order makes me tangential) is basically an entire hour of push up and pull ups. Here's a basic overview of what we covered:

PUSH
-Standard#
-Wide (K's fave)#
-Military#
-Diamond#
-Dive Bomb (J's fave)+#
-Leg Inversion#

PULL
-Standard*#
-Wide*#
-Inverted*#
-Invert and reverse*#

OTHER
-Back Fly, hoho#
-Heavy Pants, hehe#
-Lawn Mower, haha# (J's Fave)

WIDE

DIVE BOMB

We do a difficult set of all of these exercises, doing roughly 10-15 reps per set or maxing out, then we do the whole shebang 3X. Yes?! Didn't you see the "X"? Coming to the third week of this exercise we're pretty amazed at how much more we're able to do and how (sort of) reasonable it all seems now. God, I hope Tony didn't here that? He'd strike us down with "X" force, beware the T-Zone!


Ab Ripper, on the other hand is invincible. I believe it is impossible to make Ab ripper any easier. I mean, it's ripping you abs! Ripping them! Ab Ripper X is a 15 minute routine of core/ab work that would make anybody scream, yet it's just subtle enough that you're able to walk the next day, and do it all over again the day after that.

Here's a basic rundown of the Ripper 25 of each:

-Bicycles (forward and reverse)#
-Some kind of terrible concoction where you do a sit up from laying flat and touch your toes, then on the slow roll down you allow your legs to come off the floor and finish it out with a V-up.*#
-Crunchy Frog#
-Fifer Scissors#
-Heels to Heaven (Hells? perhaps?)#
-I dont' know what these are called but I call them, "Get 'em ups"#
-Side ab angle crunch doodle+#
-Climbing the leg#
-Mason Twists#

I'll conclude this entry with some "Pull Up" and "Chin Up" photos - where are the pictures of Abs you may ask? RIPPED!

Signed,

The Informative Secretary

(Gee, I bet they wish I'd be like that at work)

key: * Julie has trouble with, + Katie has trouble with, #Tony is excellent at

Kenpo- Lamaze Class

Week 2, Day 6: Kenpo breathing series "HEE-HEE Hooooo.. HEE-HEE hooooo.."

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away” -Unknown

Ton(e)Bone, every moment with you takes my breath away. Literally and figuratively. Last day of week two, suckers! One more week of these six workouts, and then it's on to a new combo of workouts . Julie and I are winning, Tony! Last night's Kenpo marks my first time, since I missed the last Kenpo day. It reminded me how much I miss Billy Blanks and his tight, red, royal blue and and black leggings, his infectious smile, his motivating words; his backup dancers with their incredibly 90s hair and outfits, with a pinch of 80s inspiration. I'm sorry, Tony, but Mr. Tae Bo himself will always be my choice infomerical, martial arts, kickboxing, workout series trainer, even though your Kenpo punches and kicks were pretty fierce, too. And by fierce, I really just mean I had a better time watching you kick my tv and HI-YA chop my face. You can karate chop me anytime, T-love, anytime.

Julie and I tested my new workout room, in the attic of my apartment. It's pretty great up there. Overhead lights turned down, to keep from melting in a blaze of bright, hot lights;  lots of space to kick and chop and swing our limbs around, all the while breathing with each movement. Lamaze style. You don't even realize it's happening, it just comes roaring out of you, "HEE HEEE hooooo.. HEE HEE haaaaaa." It didn't really help my focus all that much, because then Tony tells you to yell and "HAA!! HAA!!" and then I kind of lose it. Tony, I need more martial arts discipline!! In between sets, Tony pushes the X even more, with "X jacks," i.e. fling your body in the air in the form of an X during the 30 second water break. It's always fun when Tony reminds us that this is P90X and P90X will kill you; silly goose, how could we ever forget?! And no, we not dead yet. We kicked Kenpo's A, even amidst my dyslexic failure on some of the Kenpo combo moves. You Tae Bo fans know what I mean.

Love,

The Black Belt Secretary

Legs & Back, or: Am I really special?

Well, I was feeling a little sick yesterday, so was Katie (if Tony knocked both of us up I will kill you! I mean it, I will murder you within an inch of your life... I thought we were friends?! You already have a boyfriend!! I know everyone thinks you're the stronger one but I have a lot of fury...) and put off my workout until 5pm, I wasn't sure if I would feel better or worse from doing the workout. I should have known...

BEFORE

AFTER

My Butt Hurts,

The recovered (sleeping with eye open) Secretary.

Also, don't worry Ton(e) and fans of the world, I'll have full body shots up soon. Don't you worry.

Sun (and Tony) Salutations

( I have no one to take pics for me )

Today I told a practical stranger in my elevator that I was doing P90X and that's why I hadn't been in the gym...he'd never heard of it. My gym friend doesn't know we're friends, I watched him lose all of his weight and he (didn't really  pay any attention at all) as I lost mine. I overheard him tell someone that he'd lost 30lbs, me too. We're friends, he doesn't know we're friends. Ah well.

( look at those guns... )

Yoga X, the most X'ed yoga I have ever done, that's for sure. If I allow myself out of the X mindset the class is actually a pretty good and center-ing workout. Ton(e) Ton(e) my legs are still roX solid, and I was a conductor of vibration for the nation during Yoga Belly X, I left the storm off my face and into my body, and am offically on the cover of downward dog magazine...what else you got???

The (P90X) Evangelical Secretary.

Legs and Back- Lovegame

Week 2, Day 5: Legs and Back- Boyfriend Face-off

"Let's play a lovegame, play a lovegame
do you want love, or you want fame
are you in the game, dons the lovegame" -Lady Gaga

Dear Tony,

I'm sorry you had to find out about my boyfriend this way.

Love,
K

Today was round two of legs and back and boy was it a doozie! I had no choice but to come out in the open about my time spent with Tony and share this hour of "sneaky lunges" with C.  It was a tense hour, with Tony whispering sweet nothings about proper squatting form and C trying not to get jealous of my extreme home fitness relationship with Ton(e). I knew I couldn't keep up appearances for long, and now both of my boyfriends are competing in a love game (as I channel Lady Gaga w/ my own interpretation of her love games).

 It was the usual one-legged squatting regime, again. I blazed stoically through the workout, trying to ignore the battle I caused, taking place in front of me. Big improvements are being seen, Tony; I'm starting to dominate these first 6 workouts, how do you like me now?!

Back to my cheating ways. C stepped up like a man and lunged himself into muscle confusion oblivion, while Ton(e)Ton(e) grinned at us mischeivously, reminding us that it's okay to take a break, if we're too weak and tired. "Weak and tired?!" C exclaims, "I'll show you weak and tired!"  Wait, that wasn't a very threatening threat. NO, he told Tony to bring on the leg pain; he showed Tbone that lunges and wall sits are childsplay; he proved to Tmoney that he is a fierce competitor! (I love being fought over). In the end, though, C wore himself out brawling for my adoration and the strongest quads. As a lover scorned, he flung himself dramatically onto the couch and surrendered to the agony of 250-something lunges and a broken heart.

Tony, you may have the won the battle, but you haven't won the war.

Love,
The Two-timing Secretary

S & A - The Glamour muscles!

Shoulders & Arms? SHOCK & AWE!
Just a quick update from my solo workout last night as K-Crunch and I are in different cities this weekend (don't let me get ahead of you dawg, don't...) She's out having a good time and I'm working out alone in my apartment.  I really couldn't be happier (Body builder hermit).
Did S&A with a bit lighter weight than last time and just cranked out the reps did as many as I could do - it's good,  Good, GOOD pain.  This allowed me to have a little extra Oomph leftover for ...Ab...Ripper...XXXX!

I know it's only been two weeks but I already see major improvements, especially in the Ab region...could I have been doing the wrong ab-ercizes all of these years? Where were Fifer Scissors when I needed them?

Stay tuned as K & J, (Krunch and Junk) step into a sphere of fitness you've never seen before? Maybe we reward ourselves at the end of the 90 days with a weekend trip to actual South Beach? Beach Body!!!

Did a few extra pushups this morning - just for fun,

The shocked secretary.

Arms and Shoulders- Bermuda Triceps

Week 2, Day 3: Mission Isoceles

“The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.” –Stephen Wright

Remember Deltoid Force? Ohhh girl, the force was back in action for round two, this week, traversing the sea of dumbbells and Bermuda Triceps (in search of triangles of gold.. treasure?). I met many obstacles along the way, as it was a solo, d-force adventure; my trusty accomplice will be managing her own battles for the next four days. Stay tuned for separate updates, roger over.

D-Force met the enemy head on, almost getting swallowed in a swirling storm of two-arm, flippy, grippy, twisty tricep kickbacks, lay down side tri raises and tricep extensions (remember the tip of the day here, don’t smash your face), aye yi -tri -tri -tri! My swimmers were gasping and reaching for safety, paddling through deep swimmer’s press, two angle shoulder flys, more flys and flys and presses and dips and rows, crashing waves of bicep curl, after curl, after curl, after curl..after…curl. Luckily for you, reader, the force made it out alive, defeating the enemy and capturing the gold. Tony would be so proud. My tricep triangles of gold sure do shine brightly, like a beacon on the horizon- Tony, can you see me?! Thanks to D-force, the Bermuda abyss gave up the fight and floated away, with its coral between its waves. As for finding the missing Kris Kringle, that’s a secret mission for another time.



Love,
The Golden Secretary

Plyo Plyo Oh Me Oh My-O! (When I say "Jump!" you say, "Toneee!")

"Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons." - Michael Jackson

Yesterday we had stuff to do and gosh-darn-it (censored) we got it darn-diddily-done-did it!

Like all of the other steps in this series we found that Plyometrics was even harder the second time around (Tone Tone, you said I would get stronger, what's going on?) We squatted, we jumped, we jumped while squatting, juatted while squmping...in the end we ran out the door after our 60 min workout, Katie home to American Idol and me off to rehearsal (for American Idol...more like Canadian Idle, but whateves). Though not quite as embarassing as my half a pull-up in Arms and Chest yesterday there were many jump-twist-squats where I thought my noodle legs might just fall out from under me. Tip of the day: Think like a CAT .... (as I slam my 130 lb body through the floor into my neighbours condo...)

Count the lives as we jump them away:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

-The Leaping Lady of Secretary Lane

Chest and Back - Diamonds are a Girl's Worst Enemy (?)

Week 2, Day 1: We begin the first series again (for two more weeks)! Chest and Back

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure”  - Peter Marshall

Well, you know what they say- keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Diamonds? Enemies? NOOO. Au contraire, reader, if you think of  diamonds as they relate to push-ups. Scared yet? I am. Today marked the first day of our second week and we're still going strong (pun)! Sort of! Chest and Back consists of a heaping pile of straight push-ups, for an hour, with a dash of pull/chin-ups for good humor and a couple of forgettable dumbbell side dishes that don't hold a candle to those other bullies. Regular push-ups, butterfly, dive bomber, decline, military and diamond, ah!  Then, in between trying to keep your face from getting in a fight with the floor (as your arms have likely turned to porridge),  for up to a minute at a time, you have to leap up and try doing various styles of pull-ups or chin-ups (comical my dear Watson). I can't even talk about the latter, because, well..we can't do it. Tony, you heard me, we can't do it! I personally will makeout with you if I can do even 5 wide grip pull-ups by the end of 90 days. My comrade's goals are probably similar. Shew, moving on. In conclusion, of all the push-ups, diamond are the bane of my existence and the enemy that chases me in my dreams.  Like Mr. Marshall said, though, diamonds are made under pressure and, well, the pressure is definitely on in P90X. And in the end, maybe I'll have my best friend back.

Love,
The Princess Cut Secretary

P.S. Ab Ripper X: WHY DOES IT KEEP GETTING HARDER, TONY?!?!?!?!?!

.....................................................................................................................................................................
And now, a very short series of pull-up attempts for your entertainment.

**Running away

** She's scared

Kenpo - Barbiepo

Wow!
No really,Wow!
When did I become the crazy person working out after rehearsal until 11:15pm by myself in order to get the workout in? When? WHEN? When my P90 got Xed is when!

"Where's Katie?"

Kenpo was  fun fun fun! I really liked beating up the air and screaming at no one - kind of like acting.

Now I'm off to bed, have to get up early to do Plyometrics, you know, the football workout.

- The Serious Secretary

Legs and Back: One Legged Race

Day 5: Break a Leg

"I always loved the game, but when my legs weren't hurting it was a lot easier to love."  
-Mickey Mantle

Oh, legs.. stems, gams, props, columns, stilts, shanks, jumpers. We didn't come into this thinking a leg (and back. But really, my back is like Switzerland during this 90 day charade) workout would be a piece of cake; we figured if it was anything like the plyometrics (or yoga x, for that matter), the universe of agony was our next stop on the P90X Pain Train. Well, we predicted correctly; we are smart secretaries! Ton(e), with his tight rear and billowing biceps, didn't have any fun things to say about legs and back, because there's nothing entertaining about squating on one limb at a time, for a whole hour. Tony, yesterday you told us we should "be on the cover of Downward Dog magazine!" What's today, the spread in Morgue Monthly?

In conclusion, it should be called the Leg and Back, Tony. TONY. You trickster. We did a series of a few regular squats, bombarded by one-legged:: squats, wall sits, front lunges, side lunges, 45 degree lunges, deadlifts- you name it, we did it. On primarily one leg. Each of my legs hates you individually, Ton(e), how does that make you feel?

Leg and Back was followed by Abbb Ripperrrr XXXXXX. Don't EVEN get me started. Just so you know, my rectus abdominus' hate you too. I love you Tony, but I don't have to like you right now.

Love,
The Scornful Secretary

Yoga X, or : Falling in love with Tony

:::sigh:::
                  ::swoon::

Extreme yoga indeed.  Oh Tony! Nice tushy! This is totally unexpected, Ton(e) I fully appreciated your macho fitness enthusiasm right off the bat, I was pleasantly surprised at your humor and sense of humility...but LOVE is not something I was ready for.

We started with some serious powerhouse yoga. Up-dog, down-dog, good-dog, bad-dog. The first 30 minutes had my arms and abs screaming for more, or less - depending on how you look at it.  Then Tony impressed us with his grace through a series of challenging balance postures. A bonus section fondly named, "yoga belly" was a spicy little slap in the middle of our karmic massage. We rounded out the 1.5 hr session with a serious of senuous bed...I mean, floor postures - deep stretching.

Mom, I'm sorry if you read this.

Until next time Tone.

Love you to the "X"

- The pining Secretary

Arms and Shoulders- Deltoid Force

Day 3 : "Tip of the day- don't smash your face."

Arms and Shoulders. Or noodles and mincemeat.

Tony, why do you hate us? Do you enjoy the pain you bequeath us? Ton(e)Ton(e), you reached into the souls of our arms and shoulders, tonight, and caused a spiritual awakening of buffness to take forth; you Shirley Temple curled our biceps into more than cherry flavored, girly drinks; you took our tricep "triangles of gold" and sold them for a hefty profit of RIPPED! You Delta Force Kamikaze'd our deltoids into heroes of war!! You Jack the Ripper'd our abdominals to EXTREME death!!! Thanks, Ton(e)Ton(e), my arms appreciate you.

-The Subscapularis Secretary

Pylometrics - The football workout

DAY 2:

Arms and Chest was a breeze compared to this bad boy (probably helped us that we didn't do any actual pullups and our resistance bands were more like cautionary advice givers than angry mothers).

PYLOMETRICS

Say it with me now: Pie-Low-Met-tricks, as in: a Pile O' Metricks. And it was a pile of 'em. 60 minutes of serious jump squats, tire runs, running leaps, several games of run around the pillow and kickie your floppy legs over the expensive West Elm chairs... Yeeeow.

I can feel it now.

It's like the Jackson's said, "Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it?"

Yes, I freaking can....

If we can stick with this...........

....

...

..

.it's going to work.

The Sweatie Secretary.

We're Back and we've got the "X"

P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90XXXXXX!

Stuff Secretaries Like?

Getting into Sick-Awesome-Wicked-Bad Shape.

Today marks day 1 of the P90X program. I'm sure we'll have plenty to say along the way.

I'm rocking more of a waddle than a stride.

- The "Fit" Secretaries