The Opposite of a Love Letter

Week 7, days 1 & 2

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated."  - George Bernard Shaw
"A true man hates noone."- Napoleon Bonaparte

Dear Tony,

Here's the thing. Julie and I have clearly been off our schedule, but still doing all the workouts, sometimes out of order. I started Monday with Legs and Back (way out of order, leftover from week 6) and worked the hardest ever on my ocks de la butt; Julie concurs, as she did her LB over the weekend. We hurt. Then, Tuesday, we jumped right into week 7 with the first video of the series, gearin' to go for a week straight. I chimed, hey, we've always improved and dominated each week, this will be great; it's the third one, the series is almost over! As you very well know, the first video of this series is the dreaded CBT (chest back triceps), about which I wrote loud, angry poetry and talked about sandwiches the first week; Julie wrote hell the second week. Well, this week, I write murder. No poetry, just straight-up heinous despise. It wasn't "great," and I didn't kill it, not even close to the first time I did it! But I sure feel like I could kill the inventor of this funny little workout ( that would be you, Tcat). Don't worry, I got tons out of it, I pushed through the pain. This leads me back to my ongoing my theory, that I shared in an earlier entry, about how this plays into muscle confusion. Not only are we confused, we're also improving as we simply learn and as we get it down pat, work even harder, working harder = we improve and feel it more- should be a happy cycle, but it's getting vicious. We've added "tired" into that mix. Tony, I'm tired! And then you kick us while we're down, like a mean boyfriend who changes the channel and hides the remote, by making us do Plyometrics on day 2! I have much love for the jumps, I've already told you, but man alive it kicked my A tonight. Julie and I feel so hateful, so much hate! Hate hate hate hate, neener neener NEEEENERRR! And no, I'm not intimidated, George. I'm also not a man, so I can hate whomever I want to, Napoleon, BOO. So THERE! AHHH!

Tony, baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

Sincerely,
Your ex-fan.



EDIT::
For you readers: During clapping pushups, Tony launches his ENTIRE body off the floor. I mean, Tony, stop that. Wipe that face off your head. Quit being a show-off. We hate you right now (but we secretly want to make out with you after we watch you fly into the air like that). Lovehatelovehate.

Love,
The Rancorously Amorous Secretary

Update

Week 6, day 6
Kenpo + Ab Ripper X

Nothing much to say about the workout, really. As I improve form I'm getting more and more out of the exercises. I think I got a really good serious crunch or RIP into Ab Ripper X this go 'round.

I feel your pain...

The surprise is that i'm still in, "sit down with caution" agony from Legs & Back on Sunday. Ok Tony, I surrender.

::Sigh::

The Kitten Heel Secretary

Superman Banana

I'll show you superman banana.

"Superman don't need no seatbelt." - Muhammed Ali

February 17, 2010

This day marked another disappointing X workout (Last Wednesday to be exact. It took me that long to get over it). So it was something like week 6, day 2. I've already expressed that I prefer Billy Blanks over Tony when it comes to martial arts, i.e. Tae Bo v. Kenpo. On those days, I'm either going to plyo it up or throw in a little Billy and go to town. I also will never do Cardio X again, either. And probably won't even touch X-Stretch, because I don't believe in it in advance, but I digress.

To mix things up a niggle, on our Plyometrics day, Julie and I decided to give Cardio X a shout-out. Tonebone references the cardio during the plyos video, as it is supposedly a suitable workout for those who don't feel they are ready for plyometrics. That said, we knew going in that it might be a touch less intense than plyos, but we still didn't know what to expect. Well, to call it a little less intense is an understatement- too bad Tony wasn't feeling very creative the day he invented Cardio X, because there isn't anything new OR X about it! It was a small combination of the Kenpo (sucks), Plyometrics (awesome but not enough in this vid to get anything out of it) and Yoga X (also great, but not what I want for my cardio burn day!) all rolled into one realllly lame, underwhelming workout. There were probably about 10-15 minutes where Hulie and I were reaching for air, but then it ended. And then we looked at each other and agreed that we could probably work out for another hour. That's not the point of P90x, is it Tony? I'm not supposed to end your workout, that has both the word "cardio" and "x" in the title, feeling I should have just run in place for an hour to get something out of it.  Cardio X= misleading.

However, if you want to remain entertained, even through this terd workout, then stick around for Superman Banana. It, hilariously, is what it sounds like. You have all probably heard of the Superman exercise, used during core work. It's for your core back muscles; you lay on your tum, arms/legs outstretched and raised, as if zooming through the air like our favorite spandex-clad, superhero. The banana is just the opposite- lay on your back, arms/legs outstretched and raised up, like a Pilates Teaser. Now, put it all together and turn yourself around, that's what it's all about! Superman, Banana!! Superman, Banana!! Tbizz yells it out as you flip back and forth between the two, which is more like a really heavy flail, during which I end up using my arms to help me flip. I get it, you're supposed to use your core to jump from front to back; skill should eventually supersede idiocy, but I don't care! It. is. ridiculous. Talk about a drive through Weirdville on that one. "Superman don't need no seatbelt" and he sure wasn't wearin' one that day! Superman, Superlame-o crash and burn.Tony, don't ever make me do that again.

(added by J-diddy)

Love,
The Superirritated Secretary

Work-end (weekend)

Week 6, days 4&5

I'll be honest, we're missing a few entries in here but we didn't really miss any workouts. (At some point Katie will write a hilarious entry containing two words, "Superman" and "Banana.")

On to the weekend. Well, I managed to drag my lazy buttinsky off the couch and do two P90X workouts this weekend.  As far as witty zingers about my workout with Tony, well, it's getting a little harder as the weeks go on.  I love the Ton(e). I will admit to you that I talk back to him while alone in my apartment and applaud with the foursome on the screen at the end of the workout.
I'm finally gaining some sort of coordination with the leg workouts and with less stumbling I do more working. I sit here hours after legs & back feeling fabulously fatigued.

Accomplishments!:

- I can do all "sneaky lunges" without stopping for a break or tipping over.
- I can do 15-20 reps on all arm exercises with good form.

Holler!
- The working-from-home Secretary.

Arms and Hell or: Tony hurts so good!

Hi!
Omgosh! I'm, like, totally so sorry that I spaced out there for a sec...
No, but seriously - I'm back with a vengeance.

Week ...ummm, 6? Day 1: Slow motion, devils devotion.
Katie, what is the real name of this workout anyhow?

This arm routine is the stuff of nightmares, I am posting this 3 days after the workout and I still feel it.  Crazy bananas super duper slow motion pushups. Push ups done while "walking" across the room. One armed pushups. Slow Slow quick quick pushups. Clap between pushups. Catapult, blast your whole body, arms and feet, off the ground pushups. PUSH-UPS. (and some chair dips). Pushups.

Oooh, look at the cute setting of my headshot next to Michael on the shelf...

Oh, and at some point we picked up freeweights (my 10's were way too heavy but I pushed through anyway) and did some elastic snapping damage to our triceps. My triceps' could beat your triceps' ass.

You heard me.

Katie was there too. She didn't judge me for screaming into the floor (sorry 16B!)

Who is that handsome fellow?

In conclusion: Tony, you still put the X into my P90.

I'm sure i'll find something to do with all this leftover junk from my trunk.

XoXo!

Jump Training

Week 5, day 2- for me, Katie. The two of us already are off each other's schedule, so try to keep up as we write separately about the workouts that are not happening simultaneously. Hopefully next week, we'll be back in our dual P90x rumble and tumble.

Today was jump training or as you know it from the blog, "Plyometrics." I don't have anything witty to say about it; I don't have any metaphors about floating in the sea of bermuda tricep triangles or drinking Shirley Temple bicep curls or whatever other clever little ditties have had their 3 seconds of fame on SSL. What I do have for you is this lame statement: Plyos were hard. Remember, early on, when I challenged my boyfriend, Tony, and I said really? That's all you got, tough guy? Wanna make out? I take it all back. I rocked those Flyos, but it was hard and this particular video hasn't changed. Yesterday's workout is completely new, some of these other days are the same as the last three weeks, but overall combined differently. And though we are logging our reps and weight, how we feel and how hard things may or may not be, I don't really have a quantitative measure of my progress, more like mental notes (my goals are mostly to maintain and tighten, not make big changes); however, what I can tell you is that I know it's working, I feel it each day, I can see slight changes in muscle tone, strength and cardiovascular (when I run up the stairs to the train platform, I kind of glide like a figure skater); the program IS getting harder and I attribute that to: knowing what to expect now, which helps me understand my limits, which motivates/encourages me to work as hard as possible, which in turn ignites those muscles with a burning fury. On top of all that, as Ton(e)Ton(e) has so cleverly patented, there is definite "muscle confusion" happening, and that just has your body repeatedly zoning out with a, "wha?"

As I slip in a a little advertising about "muscle confusion," it leads me to thinking about what Tony said today, which had not registered before. He called today's workout both "Plyometrics" and "jump training." The latter reminds me of my highschool days, when I would drive 30 minutes, 4 days a week, to lift and "jump train" with other athletes. At the time, I think this type of weighted circuit training and muscle confusion concept seemed relatively new (at least to me and many of my athlete cronies), as our trainer was studying its effects on us, checking our wt and body fat and having us keep diaries, teaching us about diet and supplements, etc. etc. There was a  scientific process about the whole thing, as are most serious workouts I suppose, but this one worked- I was touching 10' and hang-cleaning 145lb maxouts heading into college. Sadly, my vertical only plummeted after that, but I digress. My opinions about that will be spared for another time. Granted, P90x jump training is not weighted, but the movements are exactly the same. It's obviously near and dear to my heart, not just from my highschool memory but also as a volleyball player, using these movements on the court or in the weightroom throughout my whole athletic career. So at the end of the workout, I was sweating, tired, starving and feeling kinda warm and fuzzy  after having taken a little trip into my memory vault and remembering why I feel like Tony and I have known each other forever.

Love,
The Nostalgic Secretary

CST- Sounds like a Sandwich

:::Disclaimer:::
Hi! This is week 5, a week late, ahh!! Whoops. We disappeared for awhile; we're sorry. What we failed to realize, since we don't actually own the entire P90X package of instructions/materials, since copies of the dvds magically manifested themselves in our possession, is that you do 3 weeks of workouts, take the 4th week for "rest," i.e. yoga x, core synergistics, ab ripper (grrrr) and x-stretch. Well, we didn't do any of that during our "week off" (01/26-31). I did my own thing, for the record; Ju did her own thing. Kinda sorta, sorta kinda. And then week 5 (02/02-07)  tra -la- la-dee-da'd its way back into our lives, but..I hurt my neck during Monday vball I don't want to talk about it; Ju got busy. So we took another week off. Tony, don't hate us!! But to my credit, I did do a few of the old workouts as makeups, once I was feeling okay.

Also, I was supposed to write about some of our last workouts, but I forgot. Then Julie forgot. But it's too late now, we're moving on!!

Oh, p.p.s. we're solo adventure again today, maybe all week. Snow storms. Don't want to drive. Too lazy to try getting home from each others' houses :-/

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Week 5, Day 1- I hate everyone

Do you remember each, first day of our first three weeks? The pushup parade? Theeeey're baaaaack. !!@#%^&.  CST- Chest, Shoulders, Triceps. It sounds like a sandwich; I'd have much rather been EATING ONE. CST, an evil, evil group of exercises that, girlfriend, messes with the little brain in your muscles that shrieks, "AHHH!!! What is this?! I just mastered an  hour of straight pushups each week!! More? I have to do more, with one arm? Did you just say one arm, Tony?! Did you just say I have to crawl side to side, doing pushups?! Wait, Fly-pushup? Fly-pushup, sliding along the floor with my hand on a plate, during pushing motion? Did I hear that I have to do 4 mac speed pushups, followed by 3 agonizingly slow ones, 10 times?!!!?! And then..you know, just as many tortuously slow ones as I can do in one sitting??!?!?! And then some funkadiddle, hands -pointing- out, chest -flung-forward, raise- your -upper-back -onthewayup- pushup invention? What IS that? All of this in between sets of crazy, side bend tri-raises, standing fly-row-military press-reverse curl combos, chair dips......." My muscles are very vocal, no big deal. Kinda like me. There were more exercises, but I'm having a physical reaction as I try to write it all out. My abs got a little x'd out, too, but the arms/shoulders are doing enough talking for the both of them.

 I'm not feeling very cocky anymore. Gosh, I could really go for a big, juicy BLT right now...

Love,
The Hungry Secretary

p.p.p.s No pics. Can't take my own pictures mid-"plyometric pushup." :-o!!