Expanding Networks - Shrinking Waistlines

Who would have thought that the first one back on the blog would be Lady J? - but here I am Xer's, deal with it! Last night I introduced a new friend, let's call him, "LL" to not only his first P90X workout, but his first home workout EVER! It's always good to bring a new person into your workout routine to remind yourself just how crazy you are. Katie and I at this point are pretty much used to each other's ranting, screaming, eye bulging, profanity throwing ways - welcome, LL to the community. I'd also like to make a quick shout out to KC Krunch 46 who has been doing the P90X vids on her own at home.

Look at this chickie, does that look eXtreme to you?

Working at home I only had enough weights for myself so I gave "LL" some bands to work with...I thought this would be enough but upon a last minute switcheroo at the workout's conclusion (him taking my weights and me grabbing the band) it became abundantly clear that the bands just aren't "X" enough for this kind of workout.

I must say it was beyond fabulous to get my groove back on and sweat out a bit. As you may have noticed from the brief blog silence K-doh and my's schedules have really picked up lately...Don't worry we plan to go back full force when my show closes and have abs to strong they'll cut you if you look at them wrong, by summer.

I must get back to my recruits.

- The Networking Secretary.

MORE Slack that you should cut us (more,more,more!)

Hi Xers,
I'm just writing to clarify that I was not supporting nor citing a Southern Uprising with my reference to rebel yell in the previous entry. If anything I meant this, ohhhh did I mean it:

Rebel Yell - Billy Idol

Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door


Last night a little angel Came pumpin cross my floor

She said "Come on baby I got a license for love

And if it expires pray help from above"



In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"

In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell- "more, more, more"

More, more, more.



She don't like slavery, she won't sit and beg

But when I'm tired and lonely she sees me to bed

What set you free and brought you to be me babe

What set you free I need you hear by me

Because



In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"

In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell- "more, more, more"



He lives in his own heaven

Collects it to go from the seven eleven

Well he's out all night to collect a fare

Just so long, just so long it don't mess up his hair.



I walked the ward with you, babe

A thousand miles with you

I dried your tears of pain, babe

A million times for you



I'd sell my soul for you babe

For money to burn with you

I'd give you all, and have none, babe

Just, just, justa, justa to have you here by me

Because



In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"

In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"

With a rebel yell she cried "more, more, more"

More, more, more.



Oh yeah little baby

she want more

More, more, more, more, more.



Oh yeah little baby

she want more

More, more, more, more.



- The secretary with MORE

Slack (that you should cut us)

'Xcuse me? But are YOU doing P90X? No...we are! Cut us some slack.
K-dawg and I got sick, like with the flu and the etcs surrounding the flu. We missed some workouts but are now doing AbRipperX everyday at work. (In the back closet storage room while wearing XXL work sponsored T-shirts).

K   "Julie, did you have a good time on your date?"
J   "I did, I had such a good time that I did 365 core-building exercises."
K   "Now, that's a good time"

Rebel Yell! (or yelp)
More to come,

"but for now, we'll make a vow to just/ keep it in the closet. Aaow"

The Power Lunch Secretary.

The Opposite of a Love Letter

Week 7, days 1 & 2

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated."  - George Bernard Shaw
"A true man hates noone."- Napoleon Bonaparte

Dear Tony,

Here's the thing. Julie and I have clearly been off our schedule, but still doing all the workouts, sometimes out of order. I started Monday with Legs and Back (way out of order, leftover from week 6) and worked the hardest ever on my ocks de la butt; Julie concurs, as she did her LB over the weekend. We hurt. Then, Tuesday, we jumped right into week 7 with the first video of the series, gearin' to go for a week straight. I chimed, hey, we've always improved and dominated each week, this will be great; it's the third one, the series is almost over! As you very well know, the first video of this series is the dreaded CBT (chest back triceps), about which I wrote loud, angry poetry and talked about sandwiches the first week; Julie wrote hell the second week. Well, this week, I write murder. No poetry, just straight-up heinous despise. It wasn't "great," and I didn't kill it, not even close to the first time I did it! But I sure feel like I could kill the inventor of this funny little workout ( that would be you, Tcat). Don't worry, I got tons out of it, I pushed through the pain. This leads me back to my ongoing my theory, that I shared in an earlier entry, about how this plays into muscle confusion. Not only are we confused, we're also improving as we simply learn and as we get it down pat, work even harder, working harder = we improve and feel it more- should be a happy cycle, but it's getting vicious. We've added "tired" into that mix. Tony, I'm tired! And then you kick us while we're down, like a mean boyfriend who changes the channel and hides the remote, by making us do Plyometrics on day 2! I have much love for the jumps, I've already told you, but man alive it kicked my A tonight. Julie and I feel so hateful, so much hate! Hate hate hate hate, neener neener NEEEENERRR! And no, I'm not intimidated, George. I'm also not a man, so I can hate whomever I want to, Napoleon, BOO. So THERE! AHHH!

Tony, baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

Sincerely,
Your ex-fan.



EDIT::
For you readers: During clapping pushups, Tony launches his ENTIRE body off the floor. I mean, Tony, stop that. Wipe that face off your head. Quit being a show-off. We hate you right now (but we secretly want to make out with you after we watch you fly into the air like that). Lovehatelovehate.

Love,
The Rancorously Amorous Secretary

Update

Week 6, day 6
Kenpo + Ab Ripper X

Nothing much to say about the workout, really. As I improve form I'm getting more and more out of the exercises. I think I got a really good serious crunch or RIP into Ab Ripper X this go 'round.

I feel your pain...

The surprise is that i'm still in, "sit down with caution" agony from Legs & Back on Sunday. Ok Tony, I surrender.

::Sigh::

The Kitten Heel Secretary

Superman Banana

I'll show you superman banana.

"Superman don't need no seatbelt." - Muhammed Ali

February 17, 2010

This day marked another disappointing X workout (Last Wednesday to be exact. It took me that long to get over it). So it was something like week 6, day 2. I've already expressed that I prefer Billy Blanks over Tony when it comes to martial arts, i.e. Tae Bo v. Kenpo. On those days, I'm either going to plyo it up or throw in a little Billy and go to town. I also will never do Cardio X again, either. And probably won't even touch X-Stretch, because I don't believe in it in advance, but I digress.

To mix things up a niggle, on our Plyometrics day, Julie and I decided to give Cardio X a shout-out. Tonebone references the cardio during the plyos video, as it is supposedly a suitable workout for those who don't feel they are ready for plyometrics. That said, we knew going in that it might be a touch less intense than plyos, but we still didn't know what to expect. Well, to call it a little less intense is an understatement- too bad Tony wasn't feeling very creative the day he invented Cardio X, because there isn't anything new OR X about it! It was a small combination of the Kenpo (sucks), Plyometrics (awesome but not enough in this vid to get anything out of it) and Yoga X (also great, but not what I want for my cardio burn day!) all rolled into one realllly lame, underwhelming workout. There were probably about 10-15 minutes where Hulie and I were reaching for air, but then it ended. And then we looked at each other and agreed that we could probably work out for another hour. That's not the point of P90x, is it Tony? I'm not supposed to end your workout, that has both the word "cardio" and "x" in the title, feeling I should have just run in place for an hour to get something out of it.  Cardio X= misleading.

However, if you want to remain entertained, even through this terd workout, then stick around for Superman Banana. It, hilariously, is what it sounds like. You have all probably heard of the Superman exercise, used during core work. It's for your core back muscles; you lay on your tum, arms/legs outstretched and raised, as if zooming through the air like our favorite spandex-clad, superhero. The banana is just the opposite- lay on your back, arms/legs outstretched and raised up, like a Pilates Teaser. Now, put it all together and turn yourself around, that's what it's all about! Superman, Banana!! Superman, Banana!! Tbizz yells it out as you flip back and forth between the two, which is more like a really heavy flail, during which I end up using my arms to help me flip. I get it, you're supposed to use your core to jump from front to back; skill should eventually supersede idiocy, but I don't care! It. is. ridiculous. Talk about a drive through Weirdville on that one. "Superman don't need no seatbelt" and he sure wasn't wearin' one that day! Superman, Superlame-o crash and burn.Tony, don't ever make me do that again.

(added by J-diddy)

Love,
The Superirritated Secretary

Work-end (weekend)

Week 6, days 4&5

I'll be honest, we're missing a few entries in here but we didn't really miss any workouts. (At some point Katie will write a hilarious entry containing two words, "Superman" and "Banana.")

On to the weekend. Well, I managed to drag my lazy buttinsky off the couch and do two P90X workouts this weekend.  As far as witty zingers about my workout with Tony, well, it's getting a little harder as the weeks go on.  I love the Ton(e). I will admit to you that I talk back to him while alone in my apartment and applaud with the foursome on the screen at the end of the workout.
I'm finally gaining some sort of coordination with the leg workouts and with less stumbling I do more working. I sit here hours after legs & back feeling fabulously fatigued.

Accomplishments!:

- I can do all "sneaky lunges" without stopping for a break or tipping over.
- I can do 15-20 reps on all arm exercises with good form.

Holler!
- The working-from-home Secretary.

Arms and Hell or: Tony hurts so good!

Hi!
Omgosh! I'm, like, totally so sorry that I spaced out there for a sec...
No, but seriously - I'm back with a vengeance.

Week ...ummm, 6? Day 1: Slow motion, devils devotion.
Katie, what is the real name of this workout anyhow?

This arm routine is the stuff of nightmares, I am posting this 3 days after the workout and I still feel it.  Crazy bananas super duper slow motion pushups. Push ups done while "walking" across the room. One armed pushups. Slow Slow quick quick pushups. Clap between pushups. Catapult, blast your whole body, arms and feet, off the ground pushups. PUSH-UPS. (and some chair dips). Pushups.

Oooh, look at the cute setting of my headshot next to Michael on the shelf...

Oh, and at some point we picked up freeweights (my 10's were way too heavy but I pushed through anyway) and did some elastic snapping damage to our triceps. My triceps' could beat your triceps' ass.

You heard me.

Katie was there too. She didn't judge me for screaming into the floor (sorry 16B!)

Who is that handsome fellow?

In conclusion: Tony, you still put the X into my P90.

I'm sure i'll find something to do with all this leftover junk from my trunk.

XoXo!

Jump Training

Week 5, day 2- for me, Katie. The two of us already are off each other's schedule, so try to keep up as we write separately about the workouts that are not happening simultaneously. Hopefully next week, we'll be back in our dual P90x rumble and tumble.

Today was jump training or as you know it from the blog, "Plyometrics." I don't have anything witty to say about it; I don't have any metaphors about floating in the sea of bermuda tricep triangles or drinking Shirley Temple bicep curls or whatever other clever little ditties have had their 3 seconds of fame on SSL. What I do have for you is this lame statement: Plyos were hard. Remember, early on, when I challenged my boyfriend, Tony, and I said really? That's all you got, tough guy? Wanna make out? I take it all back. I rocked those Flyos, but it was hard and this particular video hasn't changed. Yesterday's workout is completely new, some of these other days are the same as the last three weeks, but overall combined differently. And though we are logging our reps and weight, how we feel and how hard things may or may not be, I don't really have a quantitative measure of my progress, more like mental notes (my goals are mostly to maintain and tighten, not make big changes); however, what I can tell you is that I know it's working, I feel it each day, I can see slight changes in muscle tone, strength and cardiovascular (when I run up the stairs to the train platform, I kind of glide like a figure skater); the program IS getting harder and I attribute that to: knowing what to expect now, which helps me understand my limits, which motivates/encourages me to work as hard as possible, which in turn ignites those muscles with a burning fury. On top of all that, as Ton(e)Ton(e) has so cleverly patented, there is definite "muscle confusion" happening, and that just has your body repeatedly zoning out with a, "wha?"

As I slip in a a little advertising about "muscle confusion," it leads me to thinking about what Tony said today, which had not registered before. He called today's workout both "Plyometrics" and "jump training." The latter reminds me of my highschool days, when I would drive 30 minutes, 4 days a week, to lift and "jump train" with other athletes. At the time, I think this type of weighted circuit training and muscle confusion concept seemed relatively new (at least to me and many of my athlete cronies), as our trainer was studying its effects on us, checking our wt and body fat and having us keep diaries, teaching us about diet and supplements, etc. etc. There was a  scientific process about the whole thing, as are most serious workouts I suppose, but this one worked- I was touching 10' and hang-cleaning 145lb maxouts heading into college. Sadly, my vertical only plummeted after that, but I digress. My opinions about that will be spared for another time. Granted, P90x jump training is not weighted, but the movements are exactly the same. It's obviously near and dear to my heart, not just from my highschool memory but also as a volleyball player, using these movements on the court or in the weightroom throughout my whole athletic career. So at the end of the workout, I was sweating, tired, starving and feeling kinda warm and fuzzy  after having taken a little trip into my memory vault and remembering why I feel like Tony and I have known each other forever.

Love,
The Nostalgic Secretary

CST- Sounds like a Sandwich

:::Disclaimer:::
Hi! This is week 5, a week late, ahh!! Whoops. We disappeared for awhile; we're sorry. What we failed to realize, since we don't actually own the entire P90X package of instructions/materials, since copies of the dvds magically manifested themselves in our possession, is that you do 3 weeks of workouts, take the 4th week for "rest," i.e. yoga x, core synergistics, ab ripper (grrrr) and x-stretch. Well, we didn't do any of that during our "week off" (01/26-31). I did my own thing, for the record; Ju did her own thing. Kinda sorta, sorta kinda. And then week 5 (02/02-07)  tra -la- la-dee-da'd its way back into our lives, but..I hurt my neck during Monday vball I don't want to talk about it; Ju got busy. So we took another week off. Tony, don't hate us!! But to my credit, I did do a few of the old workouts as makeups, once I was feeling okay.

Also, I was supposed to write about some of our last workouts, but I forgot. Then Julie forgot. But it's too late now, we're moving on!!

Oh, p.p.s. we're solo adventure again today, maybe all week. Snow storms. Don't want to drive. Too lazy to try getting home from each others' houses :-/

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Week 5, Day 1- I hate everyone

Do you remember each, first day of our first three weeks? The pushup parade? Theeeey're baaaaack. !!@#%^&.  CST- Chest, Shoulders, Triceps. It sounds like a sandwich; I'd have much rather been EATING ONE. CST, an evil, evil group of exercises that, girlfriend, messes with the little brain in your muscles that shrieks, "AHHH!!! What is this?! I just mastered an  hour of straight pushups each week!! More? I have to do more, with one arm? Did you just say one arm, Tony?! Did you just say I have to crawl side to side, doing pushups?! Wait, Fly-pushup? Fly-pushup, sliding along the floor with my hand on a plate, during pushing motion? Did I hear that I have to do 4 mac speed pushups, followed by 3 agonizingly slow ones, 10 times?!!!?! And then..you know, just as many tortuously slow ones as I can do in one sitting??!?!?! And then some funkadiddle, hands -pointing- out, chest -flung-forward, raise- your -upper-back -onthewayup- pushup invention? What IS that? All of this in between sets of crazy, side bend tri-raises, standing fly-row-military press-reverse curl combos, chair dips......." My muscles are very vocal, no big deal. Kinda like me. There were more exercises, but I'm having a physical reaction as I try to write it all out. My abs got a little x'd out, too, but the arms/shoulders are doing enough talking for the both of them.

 I'm not feeling very cocky anymore. Gosh, I could really go for a big, juicy BLT right now...

Love,
The Hungry Secretary

p.p.p.s No pics. Can't take my own pictures mid-"plyometric pushup." :-o!!

C&B or: Work Ethic

Week 3, Day 1
Red Room
Krunch suggested that since that is our last week of this series of the P90X workout we actually try to talk specifically about what we did during the workout and how it helped or hurt us. (Fine! As you'll see from the pictures later in this entry Katie is clearly the more serious one in this enterprise).
Chest and Back (C&B, Cat and B*&ch, as in, geez! why do you have to be such a "C"? see? - my playmate ::clap clap:: come out and play with me ::clap clap:: and bring your dollies 3 ::clap clap:: ... - order makes me tangential) is basically an entire hour of push up and pull ups. Here's a basic overview of what we covered:

PUSH
-Standard#
-Wide (K's fave)#
-Military#
-Diamond#
-Dive Bomb (J's fave)+#
-Leg Inversion#

PULL
-Standard*#
-Wide*#
-Inverted*#
-Invert and reverse*#

OTHER
-Back Fly, hoho#
-Heavy Pants, hehe#
-Lawn Mower, haha# (J's Fave)

WIDE

DIVE BOMB

We do a difficult set of all of these exercises, doing roughly 10-15 reps per set or maxing out, then we do the whole shebang 3X. Yes?! Didn't you see the "X"? Coming to the third week of this exercise we're pretty amazed at how much more we're able to do and how (sort of) reasonable it all seems now. God, I hope Tony didn't here that? He'd strike us down with "X" force, beware the T-Zone!


Ab Ripper, on the other hand is invincible. I believe it is impossible to make Ab ripper any easier. I mean, it's ripping you abs! Ripping them! Ab Ripper X is a 15 minute routine of core/ab work that would make anybody scream, yet it's just subtle enough that you're able to walk the next day, and do it all over again the day after that.

Here's a basic rundown of the Ripper 25 of each:

-Bicycles (forward and reverse)#
-Some kind of terrible concoction where you do a sit up from laying flat and touch your toes, then on the slow roll down you allow your legs to come off the floor and finish it out with a V-up.*#
-Crunchy Frog#
-Fifer Scissors#
-Heels to Heaven (Hells? perhaps?)#
-I dont' know what these are called but I call them, "Get 'em ups"#
-Side ab angle crunch doodle+#
-Climbing the leg#
-Mason Twists#

I'll conclude this entry with some "Pull Up" and "Chin Up" photos - where are the pictures of Abs you may ask? RIPPED!

Signed,

The Informative Secretary

(Gee, I bet they wish I'd be like that at work)

key: * Julie has trouble with, + Katie has trouble with, #Tony is excellent at

Kenpo- Lamaze Class

Week 2, Day 6: Kenpo breathing series "HEE-HEE Hooooo.. HEE-HEE hooooo.."

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away” -Unknown

Ton(e)Bone, every moment with you takes my breath away. Literally and figuratively. Last day of week two, suckers! One more week of these six workouts, and then it's on to a new combo of workouts . Julie and I are winning, Tony! Last night's Kenpo marks my first time, since I missed the last Kenpo day. It reminded me how much I miss Billy Blanks and his tight, red, royal blue and and black leggings, his infectious smile, his motivating words; his backup dancers with their incredibly 90s hair and outfits, with a pinch of 80s inspiration. I'm sorry, Tony, but Mr. Tae Bo himself will always be my choice infomerical, martial arts, kickboxing, workout series trainer, even though your Kenpo punches and kicks were pretty fierce, too. And by fierce, I really just mean I had a better time watching you kick my tv and HI-YA chop my face. You can karate chop me anytime, T-love, anytime.

Julie and I tested my new workout room, in the attic of my apartment. It's pretty great up there. Overhead lights turned down, to keep from melting in a blaze of bright, hot lights;  lots of space to kick and chop and swing our limbs around, all the while breathing with each movement. Lamaze style. You don't even realize it's happening, it just comes roaring out of you, "HEE HEEE hooooo.. HEE HEE haaaaaa." It didn't really help my focus all that much, because then Tony tells you to yell and "HAA!! HAA!!" and then I kind of lose it. Tony, I need more martial arts discipline!! In between sets, Tony pushes the X even more, with "X jacks," i.e. fling your body in the air in the form of an X during the 30 second water break. It's always fun when Tony reminds us that this is P90X and P90X will kill you; silly goose, how could we ever forget?! And no, we not dead yet. We kicked Kenpo's A, even amidst my dyslexic failure on some of the Kenpo combo moves. You Tae Bo fans know what I mean.

Love,

The Black Belt Secretary

Legs & Back, or: Am I really special?

Well, I was feeling a little sick yesterday, so was Katie (if Tony knocked both of us up I will kill you! I mean it, I will murder you within an inch of your life... I thought we were friends?! You already have a boyfriend!! I know everyone thinks you're the stronger one but I have a lot of fury...) and put off my workout until 5pm, I wasn't sure if I would feel better or worse from doing the workout. I should have known...

BEFORE

AFTER

My Butt Hurts,

The recovered (sleeping with eye open) Secretary.

Also, don't worry Ton(e) and fans of the world, I'll have full body shots up soon. Don't you worry.

Sun (and Tony) Salutations

( I have no one to take pics for me )

Today I told a practical stranger in my elevator that I was doing P90X and that's why I hadn't been in the gym...he'd never heard of it. My gym friend doesn't know we're friends, I watched him lose all of his weight and he (didn't really  pay any attention at all) as I lost mine. I overheard him tell someone that he'd lost 30lbs, me too. We're friends, he doesn't know we're friends. Ah well.

( look at those guns... )

Yoga X, the most X'ed yoga I have ever done, that's for sure. If I allow myself out of the X mindset the class is actually a pretty good and center-ing workout. Ton(e) Ton(e) my legs are still roX solid, and I was a conductor of vibration for the nation during Yoga Belly X, I left the storm off my face and into my body, and am offically on the cover of downward dog magazine...what else you got???

The (P90X) Evangelical Secretary.

Legs and Back- Lovegame

Week 2, Day 5: Legs and Back- Boyfriend Face-off

"Let's play a lovegame, play a lovegame
do you want love, or you want fame
are you in the game, dons the lovegame" -Lady Gaga

Dear Tony,

I'm sorry you had to find out about my boyfriend this way.

Love,
K

Today was round two of legs and back and boy was it a doozie! I had no choice but to come out in the open about my time spent with Tony and share this hour of "sneaky lunges" with C.  It was a tense hour, with Tony whispering sweet nothings about proper squatting form and C trying not to get jealous of my extreme home fitness relationship with Ton(e). I knew I couldn't keep up appearances for long, and now both of my boyfriends are competing in a love game (as I channel Lady Gaga w/ my own interpretation of her love games).

 It was the usual one-legged squatting regime, again. I blazed stoically through the workout, trying to ignore the battle I caused, taking place in front of me. Big improvements are being seen, Tony; I'm starting to dominate these first 6 workouts, how do you like me now?!

Back to my cheating ways. C stepped up like a man and lunged himself into muscle confusion oblivion, while Ton(e)Ton(e) grinned at us mischeivously, reminding us that it's okay to take a break, if we're too weak and tired. "Weak and tired?!" C exclaims, "I'll show you weak and tired!"  Wait, that wasn't a very threatening threat. NO, he told Tony to bring on the leg pain; he showed Tbone that lunges and wall sits are childsplay; he proved to Tmoney that he is a fierce competitor! (I love being fought over). In the end, though, C wore himself out brawling for my adoration and the strongest quads. As a lover scorned, he flung himself dramatically onto the couch and surrendered to the agony of 250-something lunges and a broken heart.

Tony, you may have the won the battle, but you haven't won the war.

Love,
The Two-timing Secretary

S & A - The Glamour muscles!

Shoulders & Arms? SHOCK & AWE!
Just a quick update from my solo workout last night as K-Crunch and I are in different cities this weekend (don't let me get ahead of you dawg, don't...) She's out having a good time and I'm working out alone in my apartment.  I really couldn't be happier (Body builder hermit).
Did S&A with a bit lighter weight than last time and just cranked out the reps did as many as I could do - it's good,  Good, GOOD pain.  This allowed me to have a little extra Oomph leftover for ...Ab...Ripper...XXXX!

I know it's only been two weeks but I already see major improvements, especially in the Ab region...could I have been doing the wrong ab-ercizes all of these years? Where were Fifer Scissors when I needed them?

Stay tuned as K & J, (Krunch and Junk) step into a sphere of fitness you've never seen before? Maybe we reward ourselves at the end of the 90 days with a weekend trip to actual South Beach? Beach Body!!!

Did a few extra pushups this morning - just for fun,

The shocked secretary.

Arms and Shoulders- Bermuda Triceps

Week 2, Day 3: Mission Isoceles

“The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.” –Stephen Wright

Remember Deltoid Force? Ohhh girl, the force was back in action for round two, this week, traversing the sea of dumbbells and Bermuda Triceps (in search of triangles of gold.. treasure?). I met many obstacles along the way, as it was a solo, d-force adventure; my trusty accomplice will be managing her own battles for the next four days. Stay tuned for separate updates, roger over.

D-Force met the enemy head on, almost getting swallowed in a swirling storm of two-arm, flippy, grippy, twisty tricep kickbacks, lay down side tri raises and tricep extensions (remember the tip of the day here, don’t smash your face), aye yi -tri -tri -tri! My swimmers were gasping and reaching for safety, paddling through deep swimmer’s press, two angle shoulder flys, more flys and flys and presses and dips and rows, crashing waves of bicep curl, after curl, after curl, after curl..after…curl. Luckily for you, reader, the force made it out alive, defeating the enemy and capturing the gold. Tony would be so proud. My tricep triangles of gold sure do shine brightly, like a beacon on the horizon- Tony, can you see me?! Thanks to D-force, the Bermuda abyss gave up the fight and floated away, with its coral between its waves. As for finding the missing Kris Kringle, that’s a secret mission for another time.



Love,
The Golden Secretary

Plyo Plyo Oh Me Oh My-O! (When I say "Jump!" you say, "Toneee!")

"Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons." - Michael Jackson

Yesterday we had stuff to do and gosh-darn-it (censored) we got it darn-diddily-done-did it!

Like all of the other steps in this series we found that Plyometrics was even harder the second time around (Tone Tone, you said I would get stronger, what's going on?) We squatted, we jumped, we jumped while squatting, juatted while squmping...in the end we ran out the door after our 60 min workout, Katie home to American Idol and me off to rehearsal (for American Idol...more like Canadian Idle, but whateves). Though not quite as embarassing as my half a pull-up in Arms and Chest yesterday there were many jump-twist-squats where I thought my noodle legs might just fall out from under me. Tip of the day: Think like a CAT .... (as I slam my 130 lb body through the floor into my neighbours condo...)

Count the lives as we jump them away:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

-The Leaping Lady of Secretary Lane

Chest and Back - Diamonds are a Girl's Worst Enemy (?)

Week 2, Day 1: We begin the first series again (for two more weeks)! Chest and Back

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure”  - Peter Marshall

Well, you know what they say- keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Diamonds? Enemies? NOOO. Au contraire, reader, if you think of  diamonds as they relate to push-ups. Scared yet? I am. Today marked the first day of our second week and we're still going strong (pun)! Sort of! Chest and Back consists of a heaping pile of straight push-ups, for an hour, with a dash of pull/chin-ups for good humor and a couple of forgettable dumbbell side dishes that don't hold a candle to those other bullies. Regular push-ups, butterfly, dive bomber, decline, military and diamond, ah!  Then, in between trying to keep your face from getting in a fight with the floor (as your arms have likely turned to porridge),  for up to a minute at a time, you have to leap up and try doing various styles of pull-ups or chin-ups (comical my dear Watson). I can't even talk about the latter, because, well..we can't do it. Tony, you heard me, we can't do it! I personally will makeout with you if I can do even 5 wide grip pull-ups by the end of 90 days. My comrade's goals are probably similar. Shew, moving on. In conclusion, of all the push-ups, diamond are the bane of my existence and the enemy that chases me in my dreams.  Like Mr. Marshall said, though, diamonds are made under pressure and, well, the pressure is definitely on in P90X. And in the end, maybe I'll have my best friend back.

Love,
The Princess Cut Secretary

P.S. Ab Ripper X: WHY DOES IT KEEP GETTING HARDER, TONY?!?!?!?!?!

.....................................................................................................................................................................
And now, a very short series of pull-up attempts for your entertainment.

**Running away

** She's scared

Kenpo - Barbiepo

Wow!
No really,Wow!
When did I become the crazy person working out after rehearsal until 11:15pm by myself in order to get the workout in? When? WHEN? When my P90 got Xed is when!

"Where's Katie?"

Kenpo was  fun fun fun! I really liked beating up the air and screaming at no one - kind of like acting.

Now I'm off to bed, have to get up early to do Plyometrics, you know, the football workout.

- The Serious Secretary

Legs and Back: One Legged Race

Day 5: Break a Leg

"I always loved the game, but when my legs weren't hurting it was a lot easier to love."  
-Mickey Mantle

Oh, legs.. stems, gams, props, columns, stilts, shanks, jumpers. We didn't come into this thinking a leg (and back. But really, my back is like Switzerland during this 90 day charade) workout would be a piece of cake; we figured if it was anything like the plyometrics (or yoga x, for that matter), the universe of agony was our next stop on the P90X Pain Train. Well, we predicted correctly; we are smart secretaries! Ton(e), with his tight rear and billowing biceps, didn't have any fun things to say about legs and back, because there's nothing entertaining about squating on one limb at a time, for a whole hour. Tony, yesterday you told us we should "be on the cover of Downward Dog magazine!" What's today, the spread in Morgue Monthly?

In conclusion, it should be called the Leg and Back, Tony. TONY. You trickster. We did a series of a few regular squats, bombarded by one-legged:: squats, wall sits, front lunges, side lunges, 45 degree lunges, deadlifts- you name it, we did it. On primarily one leg. Each of my legs hates you individually, Ton(e), how does that make you feel?

Leg and Back was followed by Abbb Ripperrrr XXXXXX. Don't EVEN get me started. Just so you know, my rectus abdominus' hate you too. I love you Tony, but I don't have to like you right now.

Love,
The Scornful Secretary

Yoga X, or : Falling in love with Tony

:::sigh:::
                  ::swoon::

Extreme yoga indeed.  Oh Tony! Nice tushy! This is totally unexpected, Ton(e) I fully appreciated your macho fitness enthusiasm right off the bat, I was pleasantly surprised at your humor and sense of humility...but LOVE is not something I was ready for.

We started with some serious powerhouse yoga. Up-dog, down-dog, good-dog, bad-dog. The first 30 minutes had my arms and abs screaming for more, or less - depending on how you look at it.  Then Tony impressed us with his grace through a series of challenging balance postures. A bonus section fondly named, "yoga belly" was a spicy little slap in the middle of our karmic massage. We rounded out the 1.5 hr session with a serious of senuous bed...I mean, floor postures - deep stretching.

Mom, I'm sorry if you read this.

Until next time Tone.

Love you to the "X"

- The pining Secretary

Arms and Shoulders- Deltoid Force

Day 3 : "Tip of the day- don't smash your face."

Arms and Shoulders. Or noodles and mincemeat.

Tony, why do you hate us? Do you enjoy the pain you bequeath us? Ton(e)Ton(e), you reached into the souls of our arms and shoulders, tonight, and caused a spiritual awakening of buffness to take forth; you Shirley Temple curled our biceps into more than cherry flavored, girly drinks; you took our tricep "triangles of gold" and sold them for a hefty profit of RIPPED! You Delta Force Kamikaze'd our deltoids into heroes of war!! You Jack the Ripper'd our abdominals to EXTREME death!!! Thanks, Ton(e)Ton(e), my arms appreciate you.

-The Subscapularis Secretary

Pylometrics - The football workout

DAY 2:

Arms and Chest was a breeze compared to this bad boy (probably helped us that we didn't do any actual pullups and our resistance bands were more like cautionary advice givers than angry mothers).

PYLOMETRICS

Say it with me now: Pie-Low-Met-tricks, as in: a Pile O' Metricks. And it was a pile of 'em. 60 minutes of serious jump squats, tire runs, running leaps, several games of run around the pillow and kickie your floppy legs over the expensive West Elm chairs... Yeeeow.

I can feel it now.

It's like the Jackson's said, "Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it?"

Yes, I freaking can....

If we can stick with this...........

....

...

..

.it's going to work.

The Sweatie Secretary.

We're Back and we've got the "X"

P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90X P90XXXXXX!

Stuff Secretaries Like?

Getting into Sick-Awesome-Wicked-Bad Shape.

Today marks day 1 of the P90X program. I'm sure we'll have plenty to say along the way.

I'm rocking more of a waddle than a stride.

- The "Fit" Secretaries